The Struggle Is Real (and Neurological)
If you or your child has ADHD, you probably know the unique agony of transitions. And we’re not just talking about big life moments—starting a new job, heading off to college, or moving across the country (although those can be especially overwhelming). We’re talking about the little things too:
- Waking up and actually getting out of bed
- Shifting from fun to function (goodbye video games, hello chores)
- Leaving the office brain behind and stepping into parent or partner mode at home
- Ending the weekend and prepping for Monday (cue dramatic sigh)
Then there are the seasonal shifts that sneak up on us.
- Summer vacation to school-year structure
- Holidays and all their delightful chaos
- Back-to-school shopping (didn’t we just finish that?)
- Transitions tied to big life changes—moving, graduating, even changing daily routines
Whether small or seismic, transitions tend to hit the ADHD brain hard. Cue the emotional storm: overwhelm, resistance, irritability, even full-on shutdown. Why is that?
Let’s take a peek inside the ADHD brain for answers.
What’s Going on in the ADHD Brain?
ADHD is fundamentally a disorder of executive function—those behind-the-scenes mental skills that help us plan, shift gears, and get stuff done. These live in the prefrontal cortex (aka the CEO of the brain). Unfortunately, in ADHD, the CEO is often distracted by a cat video and a half-eaten granola bar.
Smooth transitions require several executive function skills working together:
- Task disengagement (letting go of what you’re doing now)
- Activation (getting started on something new)
- Emotional regulation (managing how you feel about the shift)
When those skills are compromised, transitions can feel like climbing out of quicksand while someone yells at you to “hurry up!” And when the activity you’re leaving is super engaging—or the one you’re facing is painfully boring—it becomes even harder to shift gears.
But here’s the good news: There are strategies that can help.
Tips for Smoother Daily Transitions
1. Structure = Sanity
Predictable routines reduce surprises and help your brain feel more in control. Set up simple structures for your morning, after-school/work time, and bedtime.
2. Preview the Plan
Look ahead at your schedule or talk it through with your child. Visual schedules (especially with pictures for younger kids) take the mystery out of “what’s next?” and promote independence.
3. Countdown Cues
Timers can be a game-changer. Try setting alerts at 15, 10, and 5 minutes before it’s time to transition. If hyperfocus is in play, consider using a LOUD alarm—or one you have to physically get up to turn off. Parents can be “human timers” too:
“Hey David, dinner’s in 15 minutes. Save your game!”
4. Build in Buffer Time
Transitions take mental energy. Give yourself or your child 5–15 minutes between tasks to stretch, reset, or breathe. That little pause can prevent a meltdown or major resistance.
5. Create a Ritual
A simple, enjoyable ritual can ease the shift. Examples:
- Play a favorite song
- Do a silly dance
- Take a hydration break
- Step outside for 3 minutes of fresh air
Handling the Big Transitions
When you’re facing a major shift—starting school, moving, changing jobs—it helps to be proactive. ADHD brains often resist change, even when it’s exciting or positive. Here’s how to ease the overwhelm:
1. Talk It Through Early and Often
For kids, role-play what the new situation will feel like. For adults, try journaling or visualizing. Mental rehearsal helps the brain feel more prepared.
Research shows that visualization can calm the nervous system and reduce transition anxiety.
2. Make (and Use) Checklists
Write out what needs to happen before, during, and after the transition. For example:
- Before vacation: finalize work tasks, set out-of-office email
- After vacation: unpack, catch up on messages, restock groceries
3. Schedule a Transition Day
Don’t expect instant bounce-back. Build in a buffer between phases of life. Returning from vacation? Give yourself a day to unpack and reset. School starting soon? Ease into the wake-up routine a few days before.
When Things Don’t Go As Planned…
Sometimes even the best-laid plans fall apart (hello, life). When that happens, be kind to yourself.
Pause.
Breathe.
Regroup.
Say this to yourself:
“This is hard. I’m doing my best. I can reset and start again.”
Because you can—and you will.
The Takeaway
Transitions will probably never be your ADHD brain’s favorite activity. But with the right tools, structure, and compassion, they don’t have to derail your day (or your sanity). These strategies help:
- Save time
- Reduce stress
- Improve productivity
- Strengthen confidence
And every successful shift—no matter how small—is a win. So if you made it from the couch to the kitchen and remembered what you came in for? Celebrate that.
Gold star for you, friend.